MY SPIRITUALITY

RELIGION

    Mine was a very strict Roman Catholic upbringing. I was raised to feel guilty about everything and to not only wallow in suffering, but to seek it out to wallow in! I saw much hypocrisy and too many people - my own family even - behaving in ways completely against what they preached and tried to "instill" in others. Not having much of a choice in my early childhood, I had to live within all this negativity and oppression. However, deep down, I never believed in any of it, and did whatever I could to experience happiness and joy and exhilaration. These were feelings, I noticed, that felt the highest, the purest, the most spirit-filling and inspiring. THESE were the feelings, I always believed, that a caring, loving God would want us to feel - not pain and degradation and suffering. Yes, pain and suffering are a part of - a reality of life, and yes, they DO build strength and character and conviction. But NOT in the way so many "devout religious devotees" would have us believe. They are TESTS of life - TESTS of one's character - nothing more. Negativity like that shouldn't be sought out and wallowed in. They are meant to be risen above. We were meant to experience and aspire to and strive for HAPPINESS. THAT is when one is the most exalted. I believe that anything that brings you to levels of happiness and pure joy - as long as it is not harmful to others - is more than fine! I reached a point in my life early on (but still not early ENOUGH) to end all that STUPID, guilt-ridden, negativite CRAP and strive for these wonderful, warm, exhilarating feelings instead - the kind of feelings that make you WANT to share them! I was going to LIVE - not remain willingly DEAD on the inside! When I let everyone around me instill me with those awful, misguided feelings, I felt anything BUT alive! But, deep down, I KNEW that wasn't me. I was someone else - someone vibrant and joyful and strong and ALIVE! And once I shed that negative shell, I found I had been RIGHT all along!

SPIRITUALITY

    Spiritual healing and rejuvenation is not about stifling and oppressing people - or ANY living beings, for that matter. It isn't about making others feel guilty. It isn't about thinking you're better than anyone else just because you do this instead of that, or you're this way and not that way, etc., when you are far from it. It isn't about politcal power. It isn't about saying the right words at the right times in the right monotone, expressionless, feelingless tones of voice. And it CERTAINLY isn't about going to one particular place once a week to show off your best clothes and get an aerobics work-out in them! (I'm not saying you shouldn't go to mass or whatever your religious ceremony may be. Just that, if you're going to go, have them MEAN something. FEEL those words when you say them...LIVE by them. If it's nothing but a routine to you, then, really, what are getting out of it?)

    If you want to commune with your God - or whatever Powers That Be that you believe in, or departed loved ones, you can do it at any time, from any place, in any way you wish. I believe that He / they will hear you and appreciate that you are communing.

    Whatever religion you practice, whatever you believe in, it all comes down to this: Be the best person you can be. Treat others with the same respect and compassion that you would want to be treated with. That goes for people of any gender, age, race, type, orientation, disability, or creed - and animals and other living beings, too. Follow your compassionate feelings. Help others when you see that they really need it. Never be cruel or do anything to intentionally cause pain or suffering or any sort of harm to another living being. If YOU should wrong someone, do your best to make amends. Don't seek revenge, either, on someone who's done YOU wrong. That is stooping to their level, and keeps a negative cycle going. I'm not saying don't DO something if someone is victimizing someone else, because, if someone is doing evil things to others, whether it is on a small or large scale, nonphysical or physical, they DO need to be stopped - with their lives spared, if possible - because it's really not up to us to play judge and executioner. What right do WE have to take another life - unless it is pure, necessary, UNplanned, physical defense - or we are really FORCED into a situation to HAVE to fight like that - regardless of WHAT they've done? This person has killed someone. Does that give YOU the right to become a killer yourself and kill him / her? No! I don't believe in that. Punishment, there should be, yes - definately. But not murder.

    Keep yourself and others as happy and fulfilled as possible - for, again - THOSE are the true spirit-lifting feelings. Those feelings give you hope and inspire you to bring that hope to others - as opposed to misery and woe and self-pity. Basically, that's the gist of it. A very simple code to live by. I've been living by that code for most of my life now, and I can't imagine going back!

    Even the "lowliest" of beings deserve respect. I use quotations because I don't believe that ANY person or living being is lowly. For example: lately, when I've been doing my character / performance work, there's this guy that's been coming around everyday. He's obviously got a strong level of retardation. He follows us around - especially me - while we are working and comes up to us on our breaks to get autographs everyday and ask questions. It kind of creeped me out and bothered me a little at first, but then I thought about it. He can't help the way he is. It's a medical condition. He's obviously not out to harm us. If he was, that would be a different story, but he's not. He's entertained by and admires us, and wants to be accepted by us. Besides...we've intentionally made ourselves public figures out there...what did we expect? This kind of thing goes with the territory! We obviously give him some kind of joy. We should appreciate that. All he wants is a simple autograph everyday...takes but a moment of our time to write it out for him. He wants a "Hello", a little acknowledgement, and a few friendly words, and he's happy then. So, I give him that. Doesn't hurt ME any. And if it brings a few moments of happiness to someone who has to go through life suffering a medical condition, than I feel better doing it than not.

LIGHT

    It is also important to be in touch with your soul - the core and very essence of yourself. Meditate. Check on it every once in awhile. There are times when all is quiet and peaceful at home, and I do my best to just forget about my physical body and try to feel and experience the deepest part of myself. Once I find it, I just let myself feel and experience it. What I feel - as best I can describe it - is complete warmth, sheer joy, pure inspiration, feelings of goodness and kindness, exhilaration, rejuvenation, and a very inviting and invitED feeling. LIGHT. Pure light. No physical matter - just a bright light full of positive energy radiating from within itself. I also find that certain, rousing, uplifting and / or gentle, peaceful orchestral music can help me get to this place. I can even reach it while going on my "diabetic walks" with a discman and set of headphones. If it is a film score, I let myself completely forget about the film it is from and just let it fill me with something completely different. I just let my spirit ride the waves of the feelings the music brings out. It's very uplifting. I always come out of the experience feeling refreshed and refueled.

PAST LIVES?

    I no longer practice any particular kind of religion. By that, I mean that I'm not an acting participant of any particular religious organization. I live by my belief system, I stay in touch with my soul, and I commune with the Powers That Be that I believe in and my departed loved ones and other departed souls I have respect for and am inspired by whenever and wherever I feel compelled to. I do my best to stay aware of them as much and as often as possible.

    I believe everyone has a right to believe in and practice whatever they wish - whatever fulfills them. It's all basically the same, really - just different names and different stories and mythologies...but basically the same principles and overall code. No one has any right to judge another for what they believe in and they CERTAINLY don't have a right to attempt to push or force their own personal beliefs on someone else. After all, who are we to say who is right and who is wrong? As long as we are in this physical world, we don't KNOW for certain. We won't know for certain until we have passed on and find out first-hand. Whether we have been here before or not, while we are in THIS particular life, we don't know - or remember - as the case may be. Perhaps some do know or remember, but on the whole, we don't! Part of the sacrifice of being in a physical human body is accepting its restrictions and limitations. This all brings me to the next topic - reincarnation.

    Some people believe that we come back in different lives either by choice or that we are sent back until we "get it right" - learning both old and new lessons each time around. I'm not saying I believe this - or that I don't. I'm open to ALL ideas and suggestions, really. It DOES make sense actually. This COULD very well be the "Purgatory" the Catholics believe in, for one example. This would mean that Earth itself could be that "Purgatory" for all we know! It would also explain why some people are so drawn to other certain people - and to certain geographic areas or time periods or clothes, etc.

    There ARE certain people in my life I feel would always be MEANT to be in my life and some people I feel I know very well already when I first meet them. There are also certain places and eras throughout history I feel INCREDIBLY drawn to. I'm very drawn to ancient Egyptian royalty. I can see and have a great feel for being surrounded by gold and lush, curtained rooms held up by great pillars and exquisite marble floors and walls.

    I also feel even MORE drawn to the era of the end of the Medieval Age - European royalty to be exact. Why royalty again, I do not know, but I can picture it and almost FEEL it as plain as day - as if I'm there even now. I can see both the outside and inside of a grand palace. Grand throne rooms and ballrooms and staircases, the most elaborate bed and guest rooms you could possibly imagine, tapestries, towers, drawbridges, the view of the land - a LOT of green in the distance - scattered villages looking like miniature models. I can practically hear the music and see the people dancing at parties in their grand, elaborate period clothes - which I happen to LOVE. I can almost see and feel the weight of layers of fine fabrics and capes and jewelry on myself. I can also see a somewhat later period as well - the fancy vests and coats and white, powdered wigs, etc. For some reason, during THESE two eras, I feel very drawn to both France and to Austria. I have no idea why or how.



    Pirate ships...there's something VERY familiar to me about pirate ships. Always has been. When working for Disneyland, I remember my first time on the clippership, The Columbia. Though it is a REPLICA of such a ship and not a REAL vessle, it IS designed the same way such ships were made and operated. I seemed to know my way around the vessle like nothing doing! Knew were everything was - everything was very familiar to me. Can't explain how or why. I've also always had very good fencing reflexes. I remember one friend had a set of real swords on his wall. While keeping them in their sheaths, we played around a bit with them sometimes. I blocked every par and blow, and got some good jabs in with natural effortlessness. I've also noticed that growing up playing with "Star Wars" toy lightsabers!

    Another place and time: London in the late 1800's. I can see the cobblestone streets, the top hats and opera cloaks - feel as if I've worn that set myself. The women and their puffed out dresses. The sometimes gray sky. The night fog. The lit streetlamps at night. I can even almost feel the air. I can see the stage coaches. The shops. Big Ben. The Towers. Buckingham Palace - though not the INSIDE this time. I don't get a sense of royalty in THIS place and era.

    Next is Old Hollywood - both the literal place and the era and the entertainment industry then itself. I can MORE than picture the old movie set lots, the old automobiles, the cityscape being NOTHING like and nowhere NEAR as populated as it is now. The palm trees. The grand, old-style movie premieres with thousands of excited fans clamouring to see all the actors get out of their cars and walk down the red carpets into the theaters. The Hollywood Hills and the grand, gated Sunset Blvd mansions - both outside AND in. I pictured ALL of this VERY vividly already as a young child. ..having never seen any of it before - not even in pictures - till later in life. I've always felt VERY drawn out here and to this industry as long as I can remember. Now that I've been here for nearly seven years, I can honestly say that everything I could so clearly picture as a child had been VERY accurately visualized. How does one explain THAT?! Any / all of it?! I do not know!

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